For many of us, the idea of “taking responsibility” in the context of trauma feels jarring — even inappropriate. How can we be responsible for something that was done to us?
But what if responsibility doesn’t mean blame?
What if it’s the gateway to freedom?
In this blog, we’ll explore the difference between trauma and meaning-making, and how reclaiming responsibility — not for the event, but for how we live in the aftermath — can become the key to profound healing.
Trauma and the Energetic Imprint It Leaves
Trauma, whether a single event or repeated experiences, doesn’t just live in our memories. It lodges itself in the body — in the nervous system, in the tissues, in the energetic field. Whether it's a moment of shock or years of feeling unseen or unloved, the body holds on.
Sometimes, these moments are buried so deeply they don’t even register as memory. They become sensations. Behaviours. Beliefs. Sabotage patterns. They show up in our relationships, our self-worth, our ability to feel joy.
And it’s here — after the event — that our opportunity begins.
Meaning-Making: The Real Wound Beneath the Trauma
When we experience trauma, especially as children, our developing minds try to make sense of the senseless. We don't have the capacity to understand adult dysfunction or cruelty, so we turn the lens on ourselves.
“It must be me.”
“I must not be good enough.”
“This happened because I’m not worthy.”
These are the meanings we assign. They become our core beliefs — not just about ourselves, but about the world.
And here lies our true point of power.
We cannot change what happened. But we can reclaim our right to rewrite the meaning.
Choosing Not to Be Defined by What Happened
Some people stay trapped in their trauma stories because the pain has become part of their identity. The “what happened” becomes more important than who they are now. There’s a fear that letting go dishonours the magnitude of what they endured.
But healing doesn’t mean denying what happened. It means separating your worth from what was done to you.
You can still say: “That should never have happened.”
You can also say: “I no longer choose to live from the belief that it means I’m broken.”
Responsibility as Empowerment, Not Blame
In this context, responsibility is not about fault — it’s about freedom.
It’s the power to choose how you want to live going forward. To release the shame, the identity, the energetic weight of the past. To become more you than ever before — not in spite of what happened, but because you chose not to let it define you.
Responsibility brings boundaries. It brings choice. It brings sovereignty.
There Are Layers — and It’s OK to Feel Them All
Healing is not linear. You may uncover grief, rage, shame, numbness, and resistance. You might feel compassion. You might feel hatred. All of it is welcome. All of it has wisdom.
The body remembers even when the mind forgets. And when the energy is ready to move, it will.
Your job is not to force it. Your job is to meet it. Gently. Courageously. With presence.
You’re Not Broken — You’re Becoming Whole
So many of us walk around feeling like something is fundamentally wrong with us. That we’re too much. Not enough. Too sensitive. Too guarded.
But these were all adaptations — brilliant ones — created to keep us safe.
Healing is the process of gently removing the armour. Of witnessing the tender truth underneath. Of choosing to walk forward from love, not fear.
You are not your trauma. You are not your past. You are the one who gets to choose what you make it all mean — starting now.
🎧 Want to hear the full story of Donna’s personal journey — including a repressed memory, the emotional layers she processed, and how she transmuted the energy through deep healing?